There are all kinds of intergalactic excuses given when a person is nabbed for a crime. A few months ago, a guy who took a gun to the nation’s capitol with a list of senators in his pocket claimed those senators were martians, just like the pastor he shot before leaving for D.C. Another man insisted he was only trying to abduct the Obamas’ dog because he was Jesus Christ and wanted to run for president.
Now, we meet a time traveler. Dante Rashad Anderson told cops who arrested him in Oklahoma City on a complaint of robbery by force or fear that he only jumped behind the counter at Arby’s because in the future, everyone does that. (Maybe he was quantum hopping with Tila Tequila.)
Here’s what Master Sargent Gary Knight told Fox 28 Columbus:
“He was possibly under the influence of some sort of narcotic or intoxicant, or suffering from some type of break with reality. He did mention that he is from four years in the future and that is how people will get food during that period of time.”
The real takeaway here, honestly, is that Arby’s manages to stay prominent for four more years. Maybe those new gyros they released recently really take off in 2020.